Parenting Secret: 3 Steps To Show Your Child Love

Parenting a childs f

 

For all the parents, or to be parents out there.  Do you ever have those times when you come back from work, or your kids come to your work, but you’re incredibly busy and you don’t truly acknowledge them?  That happened to me this past week. I want to share three things with you.

  • My Scenario ~ see if you can relate
  • What I’m going to change
  • An old video I found that relates to this topic

Scenario:

I was at work this weekend, in the midst of a busy set up. Teams of people were working all around me, I was directing traffic and in the midst of some important task..or at least it seemed important at the time. Naomi brought the kids, because we were going to have breakfast together in a few short minutes. Judah, my son, saw me in the hall, ran to me, I quickly gave him a high-five and went back to my tasks.  A little later I saw him standing by my wife, head hanging low and he seemed legitimately sad. I asked Naomi what was wrong, and Judah went on to inform me that I didn’t really “see” him. (At least that’s how I understood our conversation) I only quickly high-fived him, didn’t say anything and walked away.  Conviction slapped me across the face and I quickly apologized and made things right with my son.  But It was an important lesson and reminder for me when it comes to parenting.  Our actions, or lack of them, speak life and death into our children.  I think an important parenting lessons is the instant you see your child, after a time away, be fully present with them and acknowledge them.

Parenting Tips To Engage With Your Child (What I am trying to do more consistently)

  • Hug them ~ Stop, whatever you are doing and give them a hug. There is power in human contact.
  • Tell them ~ verbally reinforce your hug with words of affirmation
  • Show them ~ As soon as you see them, make sure your face shows how happy you are to see them. Your face is the first thing they see. Do they see annoyance, or great joy at you seeing them. It better be a smile!

Results of Better Engagement:

  • Acceptance ~ We all want acceptance. No more so than your children, and they need it from you. Your child will have a renewed sense of acceptance. This is something that needs to be reminded on a daily basis
  • Confidence ~ Beyond verbal affirmation, I think a great deal of confidence comes from appropriate physical affection. My son is a different young man when he gets a true hug from his dad. I just see him walk with a little more purpose and confidence. Its bizarre, but its true.
  • Transparency & Trust ~ When acceptance and confidence are fostered in a relationship, the result is often more vulnerability and transparency. I find when my children are in a place of great confidence in my love and joy in them and for them, they open up and share their heart much more freely.  This is one of the greatest joys, to talk about life and see them learn and grow into women and men who have a purpose and are living on purpose to change the world.

So, I’m about to go home, and I’m going to be very intentional to make sure my face betrays the joy my children are to me. They are going to get a big hug, and I’m going to whisper in their ear how much I love them and how proud I am of them.

How about you. Anything you would add to the list?  Here is also an old video I made for a now defunct blog. Reminded me how fast my kids are growing up.

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Photo Credit: Mait Jüriado via Compfight cc

Happy 4th of July

We just celebrated Canada day a few days ago and today we get to celebrate Independence Day!  Happy 4th of July everyone.  I had the privilege of spending quite a lot of time in the US growing up, so I have a very strong affinity to the good o’l USA. In fact, I found and married the cutest American girl and now, everyone but me has dual citizenship.  So July 1st – 4th is party week for us!  Here is a good reminder on such a special day.

Happy 4th of July

One Brave Dude!

If you love military books, Rick Atkinson’s The Guns at Last Light, is a good one.  It’s all about WWII in Europe starting with D-Day. If you’ve ever had a cocky moment and think you’re all cool. Just remember this story. You’ll remember not many of us have ever had a day like this.  Here’s a portion from the book.

An antiaircraft shell blew a major from the 3rd Brigade through a hole in his plane’s fuselage.  With a static line wrapped around his legs, he dangled beneath the aircraft for half an hour until he was reeled back into the bay.  He returned to England, and then, later that same day, made France by glider, mussed but unharmed.

As we have celebrated our freedom in Canada and the USA I want to say a big thank you to all the brave men and women who guarantee our freedoms.

[Image via VinothChandar| flickr.com]

Darren’s Monday Musings

Pondering

First want to say I’ve been thinking a lot about those in the midst of the floods in Southern Alberta. It’s always difficult to process tragedy and heart ache. At the same time, I’m always amazed at the kindness of complete strangers and the generosity of people. Praying for you!

I’m really enjoying our pace of life right now. I’m able to start new things, have time to dream, and best of all I have been able to be intentional with our family and start creating some new memories. It’s nothing wild and crazy, but it’s been a fun week!

New memories created this week.

  • First overnight tenting experience for Judah and Esther.  Rain, cold and all.  They loved it.
  • First time Judah caught a baseball with a glove. It looks like we’re playing baseball after school every day this week!
  • Our first picnic in the rain. (Ok, this was by accident, but it was still fun!)
  • Judah’s first time allowed to hold a knife and carve some wood. Check out our sweet carvings below.

Books

I love reading…especially books that inspire and motivate. Here’s a book I’m currently reading and loving! I think every manager/leader/creator should read this.  The second book I’m pumped to read, just havent yet….This week I’ll finish it.

  • The Four Disciplines of Execution  (Am loving this book. It’s about execution and nothing else.)
  • Love Does (I’ve been thinking I should read this and had two people tell me yesterday that i should as well. I’m taking the hint)

Things This Week

  • Google Reader will be turned off in just a few short days. I’m pumped that “Mr. Reader”, my favorit RSS Reader app, will be supported by feedly just in time.
  • Two separate projects are officially starting this week.
    • MinistryJobs.Co
      • I’ve partnered with a great writer who has agreed to become the editor in chief. Can’t wait to make the introduction.
      • We start the redesign process today and should have a new look completed in the next week or so.
    • A partner and I are starting the development phase (4-6 weeks) of a new SaaS project. Looking fwd to sharing more about this in the future.
  • Last week of school…Yay! I’m sure there is a good reason why kids are still going to school in June, I just can’t think of what it is. Can’t wait to have them home.
  • We leave for Kaslo, BC on Saturday or Sunday.

I love Monday’s! Always have and I hope i always will! So much potential at the beginning of every week.

Have a super week,

dh

PS. Since we couldn’t “fight” with the real knives we thought it would be fun to make some wood ones. 🙂

Wood Knife Carving

 

“Outside The Box” Family Adventure Anyone?

 

think outside the box when planning your next family adventure

What do you think of when you think of a family adventure? Camping, vacation, sightseeing, helping others, seeing far away part sof the world, sacrifice, laughter, new food, good food, new friends? How about all the above.  That’s how I would describe a family adventure.

A Little Back Story

I’ve always had this quiet dream that I never really told anyone about.  Because of that, I also rarely did anything to help make it a reality.  You can read about my public declaration here. So, instead of just dreaming about the dream, we’re going to try and actually plan for it! Yikes…. A real family adventure awaits…nervous excitement would describe my emotions. 🙂

The Goal: Start Planning For Our First Family Adventure

We’re looking to find an “outside the box” international opportunity for our family to participate in. Some stipulations:

  • Needs to be a faith based organization
  • An international location
  • Likely have a compassion justice component that our kids could participate in and at least observe.
  • For our firat trip we are looking for a 4-6 week length of stay.

We Need Your Help!

  • Do you happen to know of just such an opportunity?
  • Do you know someone who may know someone that does?
  • Let me know! 🙂

So, when will this happen you ask? I have no clue. I’m hoping sometime during my leave. However, I’ll leave the timing up to Him. However, I’ll start doing my part by asking and seeing what may come.

Is there something you should start working on that you have been putting off for months or even years?

[Image via kibsri| freedigitalphotos.net]

Father’s Day Exhortation [Guest Post]

Child's Love

I’m happy to say that I have a guest blogger who will be posting their thoughts on family and faith from time to time. This is their first post. I think they may be a little nervous so they want to stay anonymous…at least for now.  Happy Father’s Day! ~dh

When Paul was speaking to the Thessalonians, he mentioned that he had dealt with them as a “father deals with his children.”

 Chapter 2, verse 12, “encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God.”

So if we were going to make a 3 point sermon on how father’s are to deal with their children based on this verse, it would go something like this:

1.  Encourage Them

The very first trait a father should have is to be an encourager to his children.  Encourage them in their strengths, encourage them through their failures, encourage them to be their best even when it isn’t noticed or appreciated.  Encourage them by your example.  Literally, fill them with courage, not fear.

2.  Comfort Them

This isn’t just a job for Mommies.  Children love to be hugged, cuddled and embraced by their dads when they are scared, injured or just needing some reassurance.  There is healing in a daddies hug.

3.  Correct Them

As Paul elegantly stated, “urging you to live lives worthy of God,” I will simply state that this is the discipline part.  Notice that it was last on his list.  A father’s job is not just to correct and discipline his children.  This is a very important job, especially in these days, but it will not be received as it should if the first two points are neglected.  You may change behaviour, but you will miss changing the heart.  And isn’t the heart the most important part?  Proverbs 4:23  “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

This Father’s Day, ask God to help you be an Encouraging, Comforting dad who makes the most of every correcting opportunity.  Build into your children.  Train them the way they will learn best.  Be merciful, as your Heavenly Father is merciful.  And be thankful for these tiny (or not so tiny) treasures you’ve been given.

[Image via Clare Bloomfield| freedigitalphotos.net]

Sometimes Marriage Is Like This

I love being married and I’m so thankful God made us all different…But…sometimes our differences just feel ridiculous, don’t they! 🙂

This made me smile

Husband’s, How to Better Communicate With Your Wife

Photo - Digitalart at freedigitalphotos.net

 

Husbands,(or future husbands) this one is for you. Three sections to this post

  • background conversation
  • example questions to ask your wife
  • a challenge to start this week

 

Conversation in a nutshell:Continue Reading

Ten Facts Men Should Consider About Their Wives (as per Perry Noble)

Quick Thoughts:

  • The content of the list below was written by Perry Noble on his blog here. (One of the blogs I read almost daily)
  • Perry Noble is the Lead Pastor at NewSpring Church
  • Perry does not know me, but he has helped mentor  me from afar.
  • If you like reading blogs, I would recommend and follow him.

 

#1 – Before she was your wife she was God’s daughter…and He is VERY concerned about how someone treats His girl!

#2 – Women are responders, so if there is friction/conflict in the relationship she is most likely responding to something that is off center…and it is going to take an actual conversation where you use words to figure out what it is.Continue Reading

Kids, Star Wars, Fun and Choosing Change.

Judah and I had the opportunity to spend an evening together recently and all we did was talk about Star Wars, play Star Wars and watch Star Wars. The only time we didn’t do something related to Star Wars was when I wanted to watch my hockey team play out the remaining 10 minutes of the third period. (they lost)

Judah decided this was boring and declared, “I’m going to go make some fun.”

Here he is “making some fun”

Continue Reading

Family Fun – Pop Experiment

So, Judah and I  had some time yesterday. I thought we hadn’t had an intentional Family Fun event in awhile, so….why not grab some pop, some mint candies and create a reaction of some kind.  Here’s our adventure.

Continue Reading